Country Rules

Country living has its perks.  Clean air, room to run around, old fashioned values, friendly neighbors…  Well, some neighbors.

This past week Music Man and I were up late as usual (we are total night owls), and heard a loud BAM BAM BAM.  Music Man jumped up and ran to the window.  I yelled “get the light!”.  Music Man was gifted a crazy powerful spotlight for his birthday this year and he loves it.  In fact he uses it on a nightly basis to see if there are deer in our yard sleeping.  I swear I think the poor deer are saying ‘yes yes we are here old man.  Now quit it with your light, we are trying to sleep!’.

Well this night we were super glad to have this spotlight.  Why?  To catch the young punks who were bashing in our mailbox.  MM shines his bad boy light and all we heard was screeching and ‘Aaaaahhh’ from several teenagers/young men as they peeled away from our house a la Dukes of Hazard style.

Then here was the conversation that went down between Music Man and I.

Me “That sucks!”

MM “I wish I had a shotgun so I could have shot them”.

Me “SHOOT THEM????!!!  You don’t want to go to jail for a mailbox!”

MM “It’s not going to kill them.  But it will hurt”

Me “How badly will it hurt?!”  (I’m imagining a big gaping hole in a poor teenage boys chest at this point.)

MM “It will burn their a** which is what they need.”

Me “Uh ok” (I’m clearly confused)

MM (Sensing that I am not getting it) “A shotgun bullet has a bunch of bb pellets in it.  It mostly just stings.”

Me “So it doesn’t kill them?”

MM “Well it could if you were really close but we aren’t close enough at all to do that”

Me “Yes but couldn’t you still go to jail?”

MM “Nope.  Country rules.”

Well this is what we found in the morning.

IMG_6606

Was this really necessary?  I guess one hit wasn’t enough to get their rocks off.

I just might be convinced to settle up with some Country Rules.

*It should be noted that Music Man is well acquainted with Country Rules because he himself was administered this healthy dose of terrible teenage medicine while doing jerk things to neighbors growing up.  Guess a little sting helps put your brain back in your head*

**I don’t actually support real violence towards neighbor kids.  But I do support a 1950’s mentality where a neighbor goes to their neighbor and chews out that Denis the Menace kid who decided that throwing their baseball into their neighbors window on purpose, gets you a big dose of punishment.  And if that punishment should sting on the tush, then so be it.**

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